Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Progressive Grace

Theres a epiphany point for all Christians in their journey. Changes of the Heart come for some quickly and some agonizingly slow. We can all attest to that hindsight 20/20 clarity to reveal a change of heart. (fish oil helps us over the hump types).

Years ago, when I made a distinct conscious decision to follow the Lord, seek his presence, actively pursue the answers to questions all Christians have in their heart...

"am I worthy?...how can He love me?...where will this lead me?...etc"

and if there is a consistent effort, intentional thought and specific prayer in the seeker, changes of the heart actualize. I have felt this progressive grace in my heart over these years since my decision to follow, and know its Him. The selfishness and pride(ego) was the first internally recognizeable change of heart. Within some matter of weeks after the decision, I noticed a lack of my typical frustrations and anger upon the normal triggers. Traffic...seriously...Dude cuts me off and I would seethe to a degree...but not after the decision. I was somewhat amused actually when I got victimized at 65 mph, then the epiphany set in...."thats Him?"...I thought. Sure enough for me it is. I had no conscious effort to restrain internal anger at that...just a lack of weight or need to. There are changes of my heart now, progressively more obvious, more meaningful. My values have changed (I didnt even pray for that), the way I "see" other people in my presence was transformed. I see fragile humanity more clearly today. Changes of the heart are coming and I cannot claim their domain, only recognize their origin, be grateful in the peace of their fruit and thank God he is finding me worthy.